Took a break from writing had to clear my mind.
I had to get things in perspective, had to check on my faith.
Truth
I won't lie I've been tested, most times feel like I'm wasted off the idea of life that I thought I would be experiencing. It's a struggle trying to wrap your head around change sometimes. I've loved and I've lost.
I've lived in the past and missed out on the present.
I've hurt and I've been hurt.
I've been strong and I've needed saving on somedays. I've guided and lost my way.
I've seen the parts of me I've worked so hard to hide.
I've held on to hurt and pain longer than I should have to escape change and ended up punishing myself.
I've had to accept that anything can happen.
Mindset
I've seen that I need to work on my positivity more. I have to be okay with the process of getting it right.
Clarity
Trying to view my past as a reference point and hoping I don't get lost in it.
I now try to believe in something bigger than me. I've tried to control everything and I have stretched myself thin and still a lot is beyond me. As I look for my source of strength, I try to do my part.
Leaving a mark
Sometimes the urge to be remembered hits especially when I think of how fragile life is.
Even with the struggle to leave a legacy, I know I have to be careful not to lose myself in planning the future that I miss out on what's right before my eyes.
Hope
Someone reminded me to get back to being hopeful and that made me see how I struggle with hope. These are some of the blessings of not going through this life thing by yourself.
I now have to realize that I have to do the work and not think that anyone should do what I need to do or rescue me from myself. I hope I stay this course and get to the other side of things.
I hope people see that to be human is not linear and maybe with this understanding become more compassionate.
I hope they also see how they need to fight all they have believed in the past and allow themselves to show up as their best selves.
I hope to create more from a place of abundance and clarity.
I hope to share my experiences through my art.
I hope to stay solid.
I am hopeful for direction on what I need to be doing and who I need to be doing it with.
Hoping my patience is rewarded.
Most importantly, I hope that as you read this you see that nothing is linear and that you do the best with what you have. Most of the times it is more than enough to get us where we want to be.
Love,
Sabali
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