The whole idea of finding something is exciting until it feels like a chore right? Then it gets challenging and confusing. Sometimes the search gets hard and we can easily lose sight of what is there to find. Same thing with finding your voice. It is work. A lot of work if you have always been making decisions based on what people have told you to do most of your life., This is why I realized that while finding my voice would mean me being exposed to so much independence for myself, I knew I needed guidance to get to the point where I know the right things to do to help me find my voice.
In my recent post Finding your voice, I looked into why it was important to find my voice in a noisy world. The next step is how to start the search for what sets you apart from everyone else. How can we get to a point where we are comfortable with speaking our truth and embracing our authenticity?
Fear is one of the huge hurdles to get over in this search. It is not always guaranteed that people will be accepting of your voice. We live in a society where people love things dumbed-down and sugar-coated. The truth is scary even for us. We fear rejection, being wrong, being too vocal...the list is endless.
You can never win with society. Finding your voice will mean letting go of the fear. We have to be the ones who make it okay to speak our truth and this is really what this post is about.
My story
I was a shy girl growing up. However,I loved to sing as a child. I remember being excited to sing with my cousins when our family would meet. However, tough times growing up made me live in my mind a lot. I didn’t know how to communicate what I felt and this made it so easy for me to let the outside noise silence me into conformity. I held on to all these emotions and this slowly dimmed the light I once had.
I had lost my voice.
Growing up and seeing those around me so comfortable with their voices challenged me to work on speaking up.
The journey
The journey to finding my voice has helped me learn so much about myself. I now know that I love my alone time as it is the only chance I get to be free and be more in sync with myself. The journey to finding my voice has helped me be okay with listening to audio recordings of myself (not to judge myself but to just listen to how I sound and measure my growth).
This start of this wellness blog was to help me find my voice and speak it.
Where to start?
1. Accept you have a unique voice
We are all blessed with a unique voice. We all have something that sets us apart. Your voice might not be as loud as the next guy but that is your voice. You need to own it in order to be okay with letting other people hear it. You need to accept that we are all different and strive to find your authentic voice. This for me is a daily practice because, for a long time, I had confused myself into believing that other people’s opinions of me are what defined me and unlearning that is work. I, however, cannot risk fully exploring my voice and so every day is a great day to listen to myself and be heard.
2. Spend time alone
Solitude is a key ingredient in finding your voice. Alone time is something you need to get used to if you are after finding your voice. Spending time alone allows you to be in a safe space where there are no outside voices influencing your every thought. It allows you to be real with yourself.
3. Listen to yourself
Trust your gut. Learn what your triggers are and what you enjoy more of. Listen to yourself to find out what spaces allow you to find your voice and spend more time and energy there.
4. Don’t compare yourself
Comparing yourself will have you taking in energies that are not healthy and this will drive you further from finding your voice. I have had to remind myself that my journey is different and that we all find our voices in different ways as the process is different. I personally have to grow my confidence to a point where I am comfortable letting my voice be heard.
Comparing yourself will also draw you further away from your authentic self and make it harder for you to bring your voice to life.
5. Start participating
You will need to get out of your comfort zone for this.
I learnt that I have to put myself out there and actually speak up. I started out by speaking up at work. Most of the times, I would know the solution to a problem or know about a concept but start off by saying ‘maybe’ or ‘I think’. This was partly because I was not sure of myself and to some extent, I was scared of being wrong (I recently did a post on why we are afraid to fail ) where I explained my fear and its source.
I also found out (through self-reflection) that I shrink when people give me attention, even when I am deserving of it. This is something I am learning to grow past by speaking up more even when it is uncomfortable.
I have found writing as a great way to participate in finding my voice. I started journaling and blogging both of which have been instrumental in me learning to be confident in my voice. I now find it easier to tap into my story and I have noted that I am more productive when I am okay with speaking my truth.
Participating is important because it helps people learn a lot about our views and stand on a lot of topics.
6. Find a support system
What cannot be achieved with a support system by your side?
The journey to finding your voice will not be easy. There are some days when you will let the outside voices in and sometimes, you will feel unworthy of being heard. Here is where a supportive friend comes in.
The key to getting better as an individual is learning that you cannot do it by yourself and that you do not have to do it alone.
Everyone needs somebody and finding a person or people who value you is important. They will be there to cheer you on as you speak your truth, they will be supportive of the decisions you make to improve yourself and they will definitely be there to uplift you when you are fighting to keep away from the outside noise.
May we find these people and may we be these people.
I am forever grateful for the love and support from everyone here. Thank you for going on this journey with me.
To finding our voice and loving it!
Love,
Sabali
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